Just Put Down the Phone

As I finished Interpersonal Divide today, I sat and pondered the book as well as a subject for my last blog post. I then remembered Heidi Nyland's brief story from an interview about working a drive through window (Interpersonal Divide, page 138). While her recollection was not shocking to me, once I put it in perspective, it was more like unbelievable. As we have grown up and become part of our communities, we have relied on others and actual communities to become the best people we can. We want to live the American dream and be good citizens. If we continue to use technology in the way we have been, particularly in this case the cell phone, we will destroy all that our fore fathers worked for in accomplishing an involved society. Personally, I want that instead of being the inconsiderate cell phone man portrayed in the following video:



We have been given so much power as citizens of the United States, including the ability to have access to innovative tools like a cell phone. In a heartbeat though, we will use that to abuse the community that provided it to us. In order to stay happy as people within our social realms, we need to pay a courtesy to those around us, those in the flesh that are working to serve us or even keeping us company. While I have never experienced what Ms. Nyland did in working the drive-through, I have been out with a friend supposedly enjoying dinner together only to have the friend decide it is time to return calls or catch up with other friends. Not a wonder I don't go out with that friend anymore... I imagine the gentleman in this video doesn't have too many friends that want to get together with him either:



If we all have experiences like the man in the video, Ms. Nyland or myself in which the cell phone or other technology came first, society will deteriorate bit by bit. I will admit that I have been on the phone with someone while working on another task, not fully participating in my phone conversation. I am sure there are many of us too that are online or working on our laptops with the TV or stereo muffling at us in the background. And let us not forget the 1000s of drivers texting and talking on their phones. In each of these cases, we are losing touch more and more in the relationships we need in our lives. Well, except maybe the driving one. There we are possibly bringing bodily harm.

As Bugeja wrote, we brought mobile phones for safety reasons and then use them for trivial reasons, putting lives at risk. This applies to all the technology in our lives. If we tune out the world and do not play our part in being social beings, we are putting our communities at risk. So, if you can't bare to leave your cell phone at home, at least leave it in your car or turn it off when you are in a public place. Whoever waits on you or converses with you will respect you more, and you can play your part in society. Don't worry, the phone won't go anywhere.

Spend "Real" Time at Home

After considering it further, I realized that most people are not going to stop abusing technology. At least not in the near future. Until there is evidence out there along with ways to make technology truly work for us, we’re not going to give it up. I stick to my idea in that we should learn to better use and not abuse. However, to start, how about simply taking a break from technology from time to time? Like with the change of seasons, we could take at least a one week break from our email, our MP3s, our HDTVs and all the other tech savvy critters that have come into our life. We take vacations from work and school, yet we never truly let it go like we should (and used to). Perhaps this is why the Europeans are so much happier and healthier than us Americans? We need to take a first step and resolve to start with taking a true vacation. Maybe you can only afford to start with one a year and maybe you can’t go far. Or start with dedicating one weekend per month to turning off all the technology in the home. The bottom line is we need to start somewhere for our families and social well-being within the real world.

There are multitudes of articles and research out there showing the negative impact of bringing home work. Go ahead, do a Google search. You’ll see what I mean. Consider how much more now that corporate America brings home their work than compared to before. Why? Easy. Technology. It is like our PCs and Blackberry’s tell us to – after all, isn’t that why we have both of those – to work?

I think I was inspired to write this as I have just spent roughly a week away from work and technology. Part of that week wasn’t by choice, but in the end, it got me to think about how great it would have really been if I had a week to myself without having to check in at work or checking someone’s status on Facebook or writing an email back to someone. I had a glimpse of it, though I won’t say that I didn’t write a few quick emails or let friends know I was under the weather. I did. But I also had a lot of time to think, to read (an actual book!) and to write in my journal (you know, with pen and a paper). I came close to busting out the photo albums, but I didn’t make it quite that far. And as I write this blog post, I am thinking of how great it was! I didn’t even think about my job, which is pretty huge for me. I have nightmares about my job…

In a nutshell though, it made me see that I need to spend more time actually doing things with my husband and our cats. We used to bowl almost every Friday night – I can’t recall when we did that last. We have a list of restaurants that we want to try out and review in the FM area. Thanks to technology (and probably a little of the school stunt by yours truly), we’ve made it to one place. There is so much more to do, even in Fargo in the winter. And yes, I know how valuable the time in front of the TV set is for bonding as well as having the ability to go to our own little world’s every now in then (AKA as the Internet in my home). I resolve though to bring back in home life too and once finals wrap up in two weeks, you better believe my husband will be bowling in an alley instead of using a Wii remote.

Use It, Don't Abuse It

There is no arguing it – technology has taken us all by storm over the last decade or so. Many of my past blogs have shed a more positive light on how it has been for our social skill set. The bad, too, must be explored. As we have continued reading Michael Bugeja’s Interpersonal Divide, the downside of technology and how it affects society has become clearer. For me it is important to keep in mind Bugeja’s underlying purpose of the book. We must use technology properly in our lives. If we do so, it will be more beneficial to us, and we will also be better human beings. We cannot allow technology and the negative aspects it does have to be the demise of how we socialize and interact with the world. Instead, it must be used in moderation and more importantly, correctly.

As I was searching online for what others thought on how technology is affecting socialization, I came across a blurb about the Megan Meier case. The blogger made an excellent point – 10 years ago that teenager may have been online, but the adult who posed as the boyfriend would not have been online. Of course, MySpace wasn’t either... I am not saying parents shouldn’t be online, and I actually have stated how I think it is a good idea for a parent to be a friend with his/her child online if the child is ok with that. Parents though, should know better! Instead of using the Internet in a positive way, Lori Drew abused it in every sense. Drew brought down Meier’s world easily since Drew didn’t have to face her face to face with lie after lie and a conscience muddled by the cyber world.

According to Bugela, one of the habits of technology overload is lying. Drew certainly allowed herself to get out of hand in the lies she told, and also didn’t cut her losses, habit number three. Instead of letting her child deal with her problems, Drew instead prompted further conflict, which leads to the loss of a life. Of course, this is one extreme case, and I’d hope most parents of today do know better; however, if more and more individuals have the lines blurred of what is ok and what it not online, or have lost their sense of what it proper, certainly more of these moms (or dads) will be out there posing on MySpace “protecting” their child.

Not only parents are at fault in allowing the cyber world to take over. Teens and others will be victims as well as villains. And I must state, I do not want to take away from the very serious case of Meier. I did, however, come across the following humorous video that depicts another issue that could arise from the issues Bugela saw with technology – the demise of relationships.



While the girl was the victim (and of course this is meant to be fake and funny), I can’t help but ask myself why she didn’t simply go and speak with her boyfriend about the matter. I know that answer, though, as I have seen many starting to rely on networking sites in the way she did, as well as communicating via other technologies, like breaking up by a text message.

If society continues in this matter, abusing the power technology holds, we will see more of this. I am sure we can all relate to how much easier we think it is to deal with someone or something if we aren’t face to face with it. Technology has allowed us this outlet, but it isn’t an outlet. It is more like a way to cheat or trick ourselves into thinking we are effectively dealing with something when we really aren’t. We need to find a balance and remember that the technology is only as good as we are in using it.

Technology also does not need to consume our lives. Yes, we can have 100s of friends on Facebook, and Facebook will create new friendships, but we do need to continue to meet up with friends for coffee or a game of bowling every now and then. It will keep each of us well-rounded and unconsciously use technology in the way it was meant, as a positive addition to our lives.

Death by Email

As I finished up another chapter in Michael Bugeja's Interpersonal Divide this week, I found some ugliness in how we have come to socialize based on new media in the workplace. The reliance on email for communicating, from simple gestures to complex problems, has created tension, frustration and confusion within the department I work. The statistics on email, as well as other ways to communicate using new media are staggering. Check out the following video:



I started as a phone representative without a company issued email address. I spoke to my superiors face to face or by phone. Work stayed at work at the end of the day. I moved up to an Internet Specialist, complete with my very own email privledges. Now, work follows me home. I can even access my desktop from my home computer (which I opt NOT to do).



As I was reading Bugeja, I felt the impulse to take the book to a few individuals I work with and say "Read this!" This is what has happened to our work relationship! We have more respect for the email messages we send, reply to and forward than for one another. And it's not entirely our fault. It's how the world has become, digitalized and on demand. I include myself in it too, because I responded in the same way. Death to email.

As I've mentioned in class, I typically do not see my supervisor most days. She corresponds with (note) certain individuals by email only. My team members and myself have even mentioned this to her - that we are inundated with emails all day long, and it would be nice to hear from her directly instead of in the electronic sense.

So, she started leaving us post it notes, stuck directly onto our monitors. That didn't last long and the emails from her continue. She will email us everything - forwards of emails she has received, emails of praise, emails providing feedback, emails, emails, emails! I am honestly surprised we don't get an email when she goes to the restroom... That's usually where I'll end up running into her. Certainly not at my cube, 15 feet from her office. For the most part, she only communicates via email. And I have simply returned the favor. Our word choices and the missing tone of voice from those messages has made us upset with each other on various occasions. I've been written up more than once for "not communicating properly" and "unprofessional" conduct. Her" file" I am sure does not reflect the same. Yet, I've simply mimicked her communication style.

I will admit, I don't fully blame her. Due to the age of new media, we have this desire to only communicate electronically at the office. I question why we even have phones at our desk. It is as if we are too lazy to pick up the receiver and dial four digits (yes, I myself included). A problem comes up and an email is off to someone to look into the issue. Usually this person or that has to be CC'd on it as well. Everyone has to be in the loop. It's policy. It doesn't matter if one of those people can't do anything to resolve it or won't even see the email until after the issue was dealt with. Fill up the inboxes is the motto around here!

Once that email is on its way, at least one person takes something in that message the wrong way. So, skip the phone and don't asked only the Sender to clarify. Simply hit reply all (company policy again), add a few more names to the CC list and find the nicest way possible to make the original sender feel belittled for even sending the message. After all, that person is higher up on the corporate ladder and she knows that certainly the original sender does not have a clue about what goes into fixing the issue...

Typically that sender would have hit reply all (company policy) and blow the situation even further out of proportion, but that day, the original sender had been reading Bugeja's chapter "Habits of a High Tech Age." Immediately after reading the email and understanding that the recipient may have mistook the first message, she picked up her phone and dialed the recipient's receiver to resolve this before it got further out of hand. Of course, the recipient didn't answer, but hey, at least I tried right? And I've made it a personal goal now to communicate more face to face at work or to at least call the person. I write enough emails in a day. Death to email.

A World of Their Own

Technology provides new ways to communicate through networks and online circuits as well as other means of social media. It has opened the doors for so many who struggle with socializing. We have started to take a look at how isolating this technology can possibly be, but the antisocial creature within me is thinking quite the opposite. Online environments especially provide an outlet for individuals to socialize. For those who have always been more kept to themselves or had trouble communicating face to face, a whole new world has been created. In it, the anti socialites finally have a place to call their own.

The web and other new technologies are not going to be the death of socialization. Yes, we do need to adjust and learn how to fit this all into our lives. The following video gives a great example of how at first, there is a lot to social media. However, we simply need to work through the details and apply it to our lives as it will work for us. Like the pickle ice cream lovers you’ll hear about in this video, not everyone is going to find the social network they need in the web. They will instead need to have more ties to “real” communities and converse face to face. Others though will blossom in online communities and find interests as well as individuals that are vital to their social being.



As we dive into Michael Bugeja’s Interpersonal Divide, part of me thinks I’d make a good case study for Bugeja. Beware though, as I think I would prove to the contrary of what Bugeja theorizes. I grew up in a world that was basically free of technology or “social media,” feasting instead on books and long phone conversations with friends. For almost all of my childhood years, the most advanced I ever got in regards to technology was a Sony CD player. Yes, the very early version that would skip at the slightest bump. You didn’t dare think of listening to a CD in the car on that thing. So with not a lot of technology and certainly no exposure to an online world, I turned out to be one of the most anti-social people you’ll probably ever know.

I know what you are thinking – really? Well, I do a good job of hiding it but honestly, socializing in a “real” social environment drains the heck out of me. I can’t stand it. So, Mr. Bugeja, what happened to me? Did reading books isolate me so much that I prefer staying at home and curling up with a good book? Maybe.

But the real truth here is that contrary to what Mr. Bugeja may theorize, social media, especially the web itself, has helped me to become more social. Years ago I wouldn’t have even thought about going to the mall and I especially hated going to class with all those people! And then I got online. I love the online world because for once I can communicate in an environment I feel more comfortable as well as in a way (writing) I want to with others. I have more friends now than ever and while I haven’t exactly “met” them all, I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to do so if I had to chance to meet them in person. I think the best part of being online is that I can be there for people whenever even if distance separates us or our busy lives are out of hand and our schedules don’t allow us to meet up. Now, it is easy to meet up online or send a few encouraging words by email or IM. This is an environment that works for me. I guess you could say its my flavor of ice cream which I actually think is going to sell pretty well.

Democracy 2.0

The political world is drastically changing, likely for the better, and I am not simply referring to the current President Elect Barack Obama. How the current election was run through the various mediums out there allowed for it to be one of the biggest elections in regards to coverage and campaigning that there has ever been. While we had seen technology entering the political world in the Presidential race four years ago by Howard Dean’s Blog for America, it made a splash and Obama’s run for White House a success in 2008. Not only did Obama raise more money than any other candidate in private fundraising for his campaign, but he also reached out to the younger voters, both of which were made possible by the Internet. The campaign of 2008 put its stamp of presence permanently on the World Wide Web, and the Web will bring life and interest back to politics in the US with the help of a younger generation’s interest.

Obama’s run for the White House set the standards for all the future campaigns in how the Internet and other technologies in the 21st century can make for success. Perhaps his first best choice was to immediately launch a fully functioning website simultaneously with his announcement to run for president. In reading about how the Internet was key for Obama, BBC News reporter Steve Schifferes put it best:

“It (the Internet) has been particularly important for the Obama campaign, which was started from scratch with few resources and little name recognition. The Internet favours the outsider and gives them the ability to quickly mobilise supporters and money online.”

Society is full of people who feel as if they do not fit in, especially younger individuals when it comes to politics. We have used the Internet for so many other outlets to socialize, it only makes sense for us to take our social selves online to explore something as important as deciding our next leader. We have become comfortable socializing online with others as well as discussing important issues in our lives. Certainly politics ranks in those issues.

Throughout campaigns there is always some kind of reference made to how little younger Americans participate in politics much less vote. Honestly, when I turned 18 I took it as a great honor to be able to vote and voice my opinion in who I think should run our country. Sadly, I do not believe many of my peers felt the same nor do the youth of today. Or at least they didn’t. Now different avenues have opened for them to search out more information about politics. They can find a place in the political world, one that before they felt a bit out of place.

As America progresses along with technology, the political world needs to keep in mind that youngsters really are interested. Politics simply has to be made available to them in a way that they want to interact and participate with it. Americans 25 years and younger are currently (and will be going forth) wired. News and information must be placed at their fingertips in a format that interests them and available when they want it. They want Democracy 2.0. The following is a video of youth voices in just what Democracy 2.0 is and how much of a need for it there is:



Obama’s campaign fit into Democracy 2.0. In addition to his website, you could also sign up to receive emails regarding campaign news or text messages announcing key moments in the campaign, such as the text that was sent when Obama choose his vice presidential running mate. Those interested in seeking out who this man was could easily find the information and could also easily keep tabs on any developments.
Moving into the overall political world, politicians and those interested in politics are learning that to gain the interest of the younger generations, new mediums must be used as well. YouTube was one of the first to unleash this power. Together with CNN, a series of televised debates were held in which the candidates fielded questions that were submitted through YouTube. The YouTube submissions were from typical Americans.

Another site I found interesting was 10questions.com. Launched on October 17, 2007, this site, as described by its FAQ section, is the first truly people-powered online presidential forum that seeks to involve millions of voters in prioritizing the questions they want answered. My understanding is that the questions are then voted on by other visitors to the site, the most popular of questions are then asked. Certainly this site is a step in the right direction. We are all involved as beings in the social network and given the opportunity to participate in politics on our own terms. Society thrives on being able to interact like that, now more than ever in this technological age. The following is a video about 10questions.com and the future of politics online:



I see the Internet and other technologies like texting and emails having a huge impact in the years to come in politics. I am guessing the campaign managers for Obama certainly wouldn’t disagree.

Finding a Voice

I am probably one of the biggest advocates for being able to develop social skills using a more online environment and other means of interacting that step away from face to face interaction. While we certainly need to learn how to socialize across both platforms, those not comfortable with face to face can find a voice, which will likely lead to easier time communicating face to face through exploring other mediums. For starters, everyone, no matter what age, will feel more at ease expressing oneself. Overall it will open up many new possibilities for education. How we learn and building upon what we learn will be key. The many mediums we now have access too will also allow for more learning. And all of it will spill into the classroom where students will be able to more effectively communicate with instructors since they have already developed the skills of communicating with adults online.

I’ve touched lightly before on the huge benefits to children in allowing them to learn responsibility online. As we dove deeper into Henry Jenkins’ Convergence Culture this week, my eyes were opened to a whole new realm of how the digital age can help the children of today in the art of learning. This method of learning though stepped away from the typical pedagogy ways of “old school.” Through digital media, an entire new world in which we can learn (and teach) has been created. Certainly, this is a crucial part of socialization, from how we can learn to ways this new way of learning encompasses socializing.


I found this video on YouTube that I feel perfectly describes the many, many ways we learn in the 21st century. It was of particular interest as it showed how we learn in both the digital and print world as well as in the classroom. To me, all the ways we learn come together and build on one another.



Upon starting Jenkins’ chapter “Why Heather Can Write,” I doubted yet another influence of the Harry Potter mania that has drawn so many. I’m not a fan (sorry, Dr. Platt), and I couldn’t even tell you the title of one of the books. However, I kept an open mind. Loving English and Shakespeare and all the other “yucks” of high school/college English courses, I’ve never really “gotten” how everyone else cannot feel the same much less dislike it so much. But in this Jenkins’ chapter it all clicked. Hamlet is a passion to me like Harry Potter is to others. If an individual is engaged in reading and writing willingly, does it really matter if it’s Shakespeare or Rowling that provokes it?



This takes us to the social side. I know for me, unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of people I could converse with when I was growing up about writing or reading and certainly not Romeo & Juliet. I can’t imagine having an outlet like “The Daily Prophet” or “The Sugar Quill!” As Zsenya, the webmaster of “The Sugar Quill” was quoted in Jenkin’s:

I think it’s really actually an amazing way to communicate... The absence of face to face equalizes everyone a little bit, so it gives the younger members a chance to talk with adults without perhaps some of the intimidation they may feel in talking to adults. And in the other direction, I think it helps the adults remember what it was like to be at a certain age or in a certain place in life.

Once children and younger adults are more comfortable with communicating with adults, a shift will be seen in the classroom. A student, who has been receiving coaching and feedback from an adults online, will find it much easier to communicate face to face with instructors. More questions will be asked by the student and the student will also be more open and accepting of feedback.

Returning to Jenkins, a paragraph later, he discusses the term scaffolding. This is how new skills build on those mastered. I think it is important to note how much is being built. While the creative juices are flowing and these individuals are becoming better writers and thinkers, they are also building the foundation of how to communicate properly in society. Not only are they learning how feedback is a gift with others critiquing their work, but also how to communicate at different levels from the level of peers to those that are older. One of the best ways to learn social skills is by watching and mimicking those who have already (or are close to) mastered them. This is one of the best ways we learn. I can’t help but to think of James Gee and his idea community of practice:

Within a community of practice all members pick up a variety of tacit and taken-for-granted values, norms, cultural models, and narratives as part of their socialization into the practice and their ongoing immersion in the practice. Tacitly accepting these values, norms, cultural models, and narratives (in mind, action, and embodied practice), and sharing them with others, is just what it means to be a member of the community of practice. This, by and large, solves the problem of critique.

Sure, Gee proposed this in 1987 and more for the purpose of teaching, but I can’t help to think that it was glimpse into the future. To me, it perfectly summarizes what we must move toward as well as try to incorporate it into the web world, many outlets to grow our different social skill sets.