Just Put Down the Phone

As I finished Interpersonal Divide today, I sat and pondered the book as well as a subject for my last blog post. I then remembered Heidi Nyland's brief story from an interview about working a drive through window (Interpersonal Divide, page 138). While her recollection was not shocking to me, once I put it in perspective, it was more like unbelievable. As we have grown up and become part of our communities, we have relied on others and actual communities to become the best people we can. We want to live the American dream and be good citizens. If we continue to use technology in the way we have been, particularly in this case the cell phone, we will destroy all that our fore fathers worked for in accomplishing an involved society. Personally, I want that instead of being the inconsiderate cell phone man portrayed in the following video:



We have been given so much power as citizens of the United States, including the ability to have access to innovative tools like a cell phone. In a heartbeat though, we will use that to abuse the community that provided it to us. In order to stay happy as people within our social realms, we need to pay a courtesy to those around us, those in the flesh that are working to serve us or even keeping us company. While I have never experienced what Ms. Nyland did in working the drive-through, I have been out with a friend supposedly enjoying dinner together only to have the friend decide it is time to return calls or catch up with other friends. Not a wonder I don't go out with that friend anymore... I imagine the gentleman in this video doesn't have too many friends that want to get together with him either:



If we all have experiences like the man in the video, Ms. Nyland or myself in which the cell phone or other technology came first, society will deteriorate bit by bit. I will admit that I have been on the phone with someone while working on another task, not fully participating in my phone conversation. I am sure there are many of us too that are online or working on our laptops with the TV or stereo muffling at us in the background. And let us not forget the 1000s of drivers texting and talking on their phones. In each of these cases, we are losing touch more and more in the relationships we need in our lives. Well, except maybe the driving one. There we are possibly bringing bodily harm.

As Bugeja wrote, we brought mobile phones for safety reasons and then use them for trivial reasons, putting lives at risk. This applies to all the technology in our lives. If we tune out the world and do not play our part in being social beings, we are putting our communities at risk. So, if you can't bare to leave your cell phone at home, at least leave it in your car or turn it off when you are in a public place. Whoever waits on you or converses with you will respect you more, and you can play your part in society. Don't worry, the phone won't go anywhere.

Spend "Real" Time at Home

After considering it further, I realized that most people are not going to stop abusing technology. At least not in the near future. Until there is evidence out there along with ways to make technology truly work for us, we’re not going to give it up. I stick to my idea in that we should learn to better use and not abuse. However, to start, how about simply taking a break from technology from time to time? Like with the change of seasons, we could take at least a one week break from our email, our MP3s, our HDTVs and all the other tech savvy critters that have come into our life. We take vacations from work and school, yet we never truly let it go like we should (and used to). Perhaps this is why the Europeans are so much happier and healthier than us Americans? We need to take a first step and resolve to start with taking a true vacation. Maybe you can only afford to start with one a year and maybe you can’t go far. Or start with dedicating one weekend per month to turning off all the technology in the home. The bottom line is we need to start somewhere for our families and social well-being within the real world.

There are multitudes of articles and research out there showing the negative impact of bringing home work. Go ahead, do a Google search. You’ll see what I mean. Consider how much more now that corporate America brings home their work than compared to before. Why? Easy. Technology. It is like our PCs and Blackberry’s tell us to – after all, isn’t that why we have both of those – to work?

I think I was inspired to write this as I have just spent roughly a week away from work and technology. Part of that week wasn’t by choice, but in the end, it got me to think about how great it would have really been if I had a week to myself without having to check in at work or checking someone’s status on Facebook or writing an email back to someone. I had a glimpse of it, though I won’t say that I didn’t write a few quick emails or let friends know I was under the weather. I did. But I also had a lot of time to think, to read (an actual book!) and to write in my journal (you know, with pen and a paper). I came close to busting out the photo albums, but I didn’t make it quite that far. And as I write this blog post, I am thinking of how great it was! I didn’t even think about my job, which is pretty huge for me. I have nightmares about my job…

In a nutshell though, it made me see that I need to spend more time actually doing things with my husband and our cats. We used to bowl almost every Friday night – I can’t recall when we did that last. We have a list of restaurants that we want to try out and review in the FM area. Thanks to technology (and probably a little of the school stunt by yours truly), we’ve made it to one place. There is so much more to do, even in Fargo in the winter. And yes, I know how valuable the time in front of the TV set is for bonding as well as having the ability to go to our own little world’s every now in then (AKA as the Internet in my home). I resolve though to bring back in home life too and once finals wrap up in two weeks, you better believe my husband will be bowling in an alley instead of using a Wii remote.

Use It, Don't Abuse It

There is no arguing it – technology has taken us all by storm over the last decade or so. Many of my past blogs have shed a more positive light on how it has been for our social skill set. The bad, too, must be explored. As we have continued reading Michael Bugeja’s Interpersonal Divide, the downside of technology and how it affects society has become clearer. For me it is important to keep in mind Bugeja’s underlying purpose of the book. We must use technology properly in our lives. If we do so, it will be more beneficial to us, and we will also be better human beings. We cannot allow technology and the negative aspects it does have to be the demise of how we socialize and interact with the world. Instead, it must be used in moderation and more importantly, correctly.

As I was searching online for what others thought on how technology is affecting socialization, I came across a blurb about the Megan Meier case. The blogger made an excellent point – 10 years ago that teenager may have been online, but the adult who posed as the boyfriend would not have been online. Of course, MySpace wasn’t either... I am not saying parents shouldn’t be online, and I actually have stated how I think it is a good idea for a parent to be a friend with his/her child online if the child is ok with that. Parents though, should know better! Instead of using the Internet in a positive way, Lori Drew abused it in every sense. Drew brought down Meier’s world easily since Drew didn’t have to face her face to face with lie after lie and a conscience muddled by the cyber world.

According to Bugela, one of the habits of technology overload is lying. Drew certainly allowed herself to get out of hand in the lies she told, and also didn’t cut her losses, habit number three. Instead of letting her child deal with her problems, Drew instead prompted further conflict, which leads to the loss of a life. Of course, this is one extreme case, and I’d hope most parents of today do know better; however, if more and more individuals have the lines blurred of what is ok and what it not online, or have lost their sense of what it proper, certainly more of these moms (or dads) will be out there posing on MySpace “protecting” their child.

Not only parents are at fault in allowing the cyber world to take over. Teens and others will be victims as well as villains. And I must state, I do not want to take away from the very serious case of Meier. I did, however, come across the following humorous video that depicts another issue that could arise from the issues Bugela saw with technology – the demise of relationships.



While the girl was the victim (and of course this is meant to be fake and funny), I can’t help but ask myself why she didn’t simply go and speak with her boyfriend about the matter. I know that answer, though, as I have seen many starting to rely on networking sites in the way she did, as well as communicating via other technologies, like breaking up by a text message.

If society continues in this matter, abusing the power technology holds, we will see more of this. I am sure we can all relate to how much easier we think it is to deal with someone or something if we aren’t face to face with it. Technology has allowed us this outlet, but it isn’t an outlet. It is more like a way to cheat or trick ourselves into thinking we are effectively dealing with something when we really aren’t. We need to find a balance and remember that the technology is only as good as we are in using it.

Technology also does not need to consume our lives. Yes, we can have 100s of friends on Facebook, and Facebook will create new friendships, but we do need to continue to meet up with friends for coffee or a game of bowling every now and then. It will keep each of us well-rounded and unconsciously use technology in the way it was meant, as a positive addition to our lives.

Death by Email

As I finished up another chapter in Michael Bugeja's Interpersonal Divide this week, I found some ugliness in how we have come to socialize based on new media in the workplace. The reliance on email for communicating, from simple gestures to complex problems, has created tension, frustration and confusion within the department I work. The statistics on email, as well as other ways to communicate using new media are staggering. Check out the following video:



I started as a phone representative without a company issued email address. I spoke to my superiors face to face or by phone. Work stayed at work at the end of the day. I moved up to an Internet Specialist, complete with my very own email privledges. Now, work follows me home. I can even access my desktop from my home computer (which I opt NOT to do).



As I was reading Bugeja, I felt the impulse to take the book to a few individuals I work with and say "Read this!" This is what has happened to our work relationship! We have more respect for the email messages we send, reply to and forward than for one another. And it's not entirely our fault. It's how the world has become, digitalized and on demand. I include myself in it too, because I responded in the same way. Death to email.

As I've mentioned in class, I typically do not see my supervisor most days. She corresponds with (note) certain individuals by email only. My team members and myself have even mentioned this to her - that we are inundated with emails all day long, and it would be nice to hear from her directly instead of in the electronic sense.

So, she started leaving us post it notes, stuck directly onto our monitors. That didn't last long and the emails from her continue. She will email us everything - forwards of emails she has received, emails of praise, emails providing feedback, emails, emails, emails! I am honestly surprised we don't get an email when she goes to the restroom... That's usually where I'll end up running into her. Certainly not at my cube, 15 feet from her office. For the most part, she only communicates via email. And I have simply returned the favor. Our word choices and the missing tone of voice from those messages has made us upset with each other on various occasions. I've been written up more than once for "not communicating properly" and "unprofessional" conduct. Her" file" I am sure does not reflect the same. Yet, I've simply mimicked her communication style.

I will admit, I don't fully blame her. Due to the age of new media, we have this desire to only communicate electronically at the office. I question why we even have phones at our desk. It is as if we are too lazy to pick up the receiver and dial four digits (yes, I myself included). A problem comes up and an email is off to someone to look into the issue. Usually this person or that has to be CC'd on it as well. Everyone has to be in the loop. It's policy. It doesn't matter if one of those people can't do anything to resolve it or won't even see the email until after the issue was dealt with. Fill up the inboxes is the motto around here!

Once that email is on its way, at least one person takes something in that message the wrong way. So, skip the phone and don't asked only the Sender to clarify. Simply hit reply all (company policy again), add a few more names to the CC list and find the nicest way possible to make the original sender feel belittled for even sending the message. After all, that person is higher up on the corporate ladder and she knows that certainly the original sender does not have a clue about what goes into fixing the issue...

Typically that sender would have hit reply all (company policy) and blow the situation even further out of proportion, but that day, the original sender had been reading Bugeja's chapter "Habits of a High Tech Age." Immediately after reading the email and understanding that the recipient may have mistook the first message, she picked up her phone and dialed the recipient's receiver to resolve this before it got further out of hand. Of course, the recipient didn't answer, but hey, at least I tried right? And I've made it a personal goal now to communicate more face to face at work or to at least call the person. I write enough emails in a day. Death to email.

A World of Their Own

Technology provides new ways to communicate through networks and online circuits as well as other means of social media. It has opened the doors for so many who struggle with socializing. We have started to take a look at how isolating this technology can possibly be, but the antisocial creature within me is thinking quite the opposite. Online environments especially provide an outlet for individuals to socialize. For those who have always been more kept to themselves or had trouble communicating face to face, a whole new world has been created. In it, the anti socialites finally have a place to call their own.

The web and other new technologies are not going to be the death of socialization. Yes, we do need to adjust and learn how to fit this all into our lives. The following video gives a great example of how at first, there is a lot to social media. However, we simply need to work through the details and apply it to our lives as it will work for us. Like the pickle ice cream lovers you’ll hear about in this video, not everyone is going to find the social network they need in the web. They will instead need to have more ties to “real” communities and converse face to face. Others though will blossom in online communities and find interests as well as individuals that are vital to their social being.



As we dive into Michael Bugeja’s Interpersonal Divide, part of me thinks I’d make a good case study for Bugeja. Beware though, as I think I would prove to the contrary of what Bugeja theorizes. I grew up in a world that was basically free of technology or “social media,” feasting instead on books and long phone conversations with friends. For almost all of my childhood years, the most advanced I ever got in regards to technology was a Sony CD player. Yes, the very early version that would skip at the slightest bump. You didn’t dare think of listening to a CD in the car on that thing. So with not a lot of technology and certainly no exposure to an online world, I turned out to be one of the most anti-social people you’ll probably ever know.

I know what you are thinking – really? Well, I do a good job of hiding it but honestly, socializing in a “real” social environment drains the heck out of me. I can’t stand it. So, Mr. Bugeja, what happened to me? Did reading books isolate me so much that I prefer staying at home and curling up with a good book? Maybe.

But the real truth here is that contrary to what Mr. Bugeja may theorize, social media, especially the web itself, has helped me to become more social. Years ago I wouldn’t have even thought about going to the mall and I especially hated going to class with all those people! And then I got online. I love the online world because for once I can communicate in an environment I feel more comfortable as well as in a way (writing) I want to with others. I have more friends now than ever and while I haven’t exactly “met” them all, I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to do so if I had to chance to meet them in person. I think the best part of being online is that I can be there for people whenever even if distance separates us or our busy lives are out of hand and our schedules don’t allow us to meet up. Now, it is easy to meet up online or send a few encouraging words by email or IM. This is an environment that works for me. I guess you could say its my flavor of ice cream which I actually think is going to sell pretty well.

Democracy 2.0

The political world is drastically changing, likely for the better, and I am not simply referring to the current President Elect Barack Obama. How the current election was run through the various mediums out there allowed for it to be one of the biggest elections in regards to coverage and campaigning that there has ever been. While we had seen technology entering the political world in the Presidential race four years ago by Howard Dean’s Blog for America, it made a splash and Obama’s run for White House a success in 2008. Not only did Obama raise more money than any other candidate in private fundraising for his campaign, but he also reached out to the younger voters, both of which were made possible by the Internet. The campaign of 2008 put its stamp of presence permanently on the World Wide Web, and the Web will bring life and interest back to politics in the US with the help of a younger generation’s interest.

Obama’s run for the White House set the standards for all the future campaigns in how the Internet and other technologies in the 21st century can make for success. Perhaps his first best choice was to immediately launch a fully functioning website simultaneously with his announcement to run for president. In reading about how the Internet was key for Obama, BBC News reporter Steve Schifferes put it best:

“It (the Internet) has been particularly important for the Obama campaign, which was started from scratch with few resources and little name recognition. The Internet favours the outsider and gives them the ability to quickly mobilise supporters and money online.”

Society is full of people who feel as if they do not fit in, especially younger individuals when it comes to politics. We have used the Internet for so many other outlets to socialize, it only makes sense for us to take our social selves online to explore something as important as deciding our next leader. We have become comfortable socializing online with others as well as discussing important issues in our lives. Certainly politics ranks in those issues.

Throughout campaigns there is always some kind of reference made to how little younger Americans participate in politics much less vote. Honestly, when I turned 18 I took it as a great honor to be able to vote and voice my opinion in who I think should run our country. Sadly, I do not believe many of my peers felt the same nor do the youth of today. Or at least they didn’t. Now different avenues have opened for them to search out more information about politics. They can find a place in the political world, one that before they felt a bit out of place.

As America progresses along with technology, the political world needs to keep in mind that youngsters really are interested. Politics simply has to be made available to them in a way that they want to interact and participate with it. Americans 25 years and younger are currently (and will be going forth) wired. News and information must be placed at their fingertips in a format that interests them and available when they want it. They want Democracy 2.0. The following is a video of youth voices in just what Democracy 2.0 is and how much of a need for it there is:



Obama’s campaign fit into Democracy 2.0. In addition to his website, you could also sign up to receive emails regarding campaign news or text messages announcing key moments in the campaign, such as the text that was sent when Obama choose his vice presidential running mate. Those interested in seeking out who this man was could easily find the information and could also easily keep tabs on any developments.
Moving into the overall political world, politicians and those interested in politics are learning that to gain the interest of the younger generations, new mediums must be used as well. YouTube was one of the first to unleash this power. Together with CNN, a series of televised debates were held in which the candidates fielded questions that were submitted through YouTube. The YouTube submissions were from typical Americans.

Another site I found interesting was 10questions.com. Launched on October 17, 2007, this site, as described by its FAQ section, is the first truly people-powered online presidential forum that seeks to involve millions of voters in prioritizing the questions they want answered. My understanding is that the questions are then voted on by other visitors to the site, the most popular of questions are then asked. Certainly this site is a step in the right direction. We are all involved as beings in the social network and given the opportunity to participate in politics on our own terms. Society thrives on being able to interact like that, now more than ever in this technological age. The following is a video about 10questions.com and the future of politics online:



I see the Internet and other technologies like texting and emails having a huge impact in the years to come in politics. I am guessing the campaign managers for Obama certainly wouldn’t disagree.

Finding a Voice

I am probably one of the biggest advocates for being able to develop social skills using a more online environment and other means of interacting that step away from face to face interaction. While we certainly need to learn how to socialize across both platforms, those not comfortable with face to face can find a voice, which will likely lead to easier time communicating face to face through exploring other mediums. For starters, everyone, no matter what age, will feel more at ease expressing oneself. Overall it will open up many new possibilities for education. How we learn and building upon what we learn will be key. The many mediums we now have access too will also allow for more learning. And all of it will spill into the classroom where students will be able to more effectively communicate with instructors since they have already developed the skills of communicating with adults online.

I’ve touched lightly before on the huge benefits to children in allowing them to learn responsibility online. As we dove deeper into Henry Jenkins’ Convergence Culture this week, my eyes were opened to a whole new realm of how the digital age can help the children of today in the art of learning. This method of learning though stepped away from the typical pedagogy ways of “old school.” Through digital media, an entire new world in which we can learn (and teach) has been created. Certainly, this is a crucial part of socialization, from how we can learn to ways this new way of learning encompasses socializing.


I found this video on YouTube that I feel perfectly describes the many, many ways we learn in the 21st century. It was of particular interest as it showed how we learn in both the digital and print world as well as in the classroom. To me, all the ways we learn come together and build on one another.



Upon starting Jenkins’ chapter “Why Heather Can Write,” I doubted yet another influence of the Harry Potter mania that has drawn so many. I’m not a fan (sorry, Dr. Platt), and I couldn’t even tell you the title of one of the books. However, I kept an open mind. Loving English and Shakespeare and all the other “yucks” of high school/college English courses, I’ve never really “gotten” how everyone else cannot feel the same much less dislike it so much. But in this Jenkins’ chapter it all clicked. Hamlet is a passion to me like Harry Potter is to others. If an individual is engaged in reading and writing willingly, does it really matter if it’s Shakespeare or Rowling that provokes it?



This takes us to the social side. I know for me, unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of people I could converse with when I was growing up about writing or reading and certainly not Romeo & Juliet. I can’t imagine having an outlet like “The Daily Prophet” or “The Sugar Quill!” As Zsenya, the webmaster of “The Sugar Quill” was quoted in Jenkin’s:

I think it’s really actually an amazing way to communicate... The absence of face to face equalizes everyone a little bit, so it gives the younger members a chance to talk with adults without perhaps some of the intimidation they may feel in talking to adults. And in the other direction, I think it helps the adults remember what it was like to be at a certain age or in a certain place in life.

Once children and younger adults are more comfortable with communicating with adults, a shift will be seen in the classroom. A student, who has been receiving coaching and feedback from an adults online, will find it much easier to communicate face to face with instructors. More questions will be asked by the student and the student will also be more open and accepting of feedback.

Returning to Jenkins, a paragraph later, he discusses the term scaffolding. This is how new skills build on those mastered. I think it is important to note how much is being built. While the creative juices are flowing and these individuals are becoming better writers and thinkers, they are also building the foundation of how to communicate properly in society. Not only are they learning how feedback is a gift with others critiquing their work, but also how to communicate at different levels from the level of peers to those that are older. One of the best ways to learn social skills is by watching and mimicking those who have already (or are close to) mastered them. This is one of the best ways we learn. I can’t help but to think of James Gee and his idea community of practice:

Within a community of practice all members pick up a variety of tacit and taken-for-granted values, norms, cultural models, and narratives as part of their socialization into the practice and their ongoing immersion in the practice. Tacitly accepting these values, norms, cultural models, and narratives (in mind, action, and embodied practice), and sharing them with others, is just what it means to be a member of the community of practice. This, by and large, solves the problem of critique.

Sure, Gee proposed this in 1987 and more for the purpose of teaching, but I can’t help to think that it was glimpse into the future. To me, it perfectly summarizes what we must move toward as well as try to incorporate it into the web world, many outlets to grow our different social skill sets.

Meet Me at the Water Cooler… Online?

No, it isn’t the name of a new networking site. I am instead referring to how we have moved from an age of how we used to gather around the water cooler as Jenkins liked to refer to it, to having this social setting online now. Certainly, the water cooler conversations haven’t come to an end, but now if no one in your work circle seems to pay attention to a show on television like you do, you now have another outlet, or should I say outlets? We have constantly been evolving in the forums we use to social, moving from the public baths of the Roman times to city hall to the water cooler and now to the World Wide Web. It is easy to access this means to network and discuss, and there are plenty of outlets to do so as well, blogs, message boards and of course, Facebook. With that said, the water cooler is now online.

I don’t know why, but I find this shift in how we socialize amazing. Certainly we’ve come a long way since the Romans. And I do wonder, what part of how we social now, will become as outdated as talking in a giant tub? While I am not saying the online network of socializing will be leaving us any time soon, I do wonder what it will make obsolete in the world of socializing? I know. A question for another time.

I am bored out of my mind at work today, so I decided to search the term “online socializing” since I am struggling with this blog post. Of course, I’d happen to come across what I think is something humorous, a YouTube video about online socializing. Of course, I am at work at can’t watch it thanks to being Websensed. You know how I blogged earlier about having restrictions and this being bad for children being able to grow and be responsible on the web? Well, being Websensed at work sure makes me know how a child whose parents monitor his/her every move online feels. Back to the video. I have no idea what it is about, and perhaps it is really helpful. I have to admit that the first thought I had was that it’s going to be about how to socialize online. Now, this is perhaps a really good idea. And after further Goggling, I even found a college course dedicated to studying online socializing.

This takes me back to the shift in us socializing more and more online. While I certainly don’t think we need to be taught on how to socialize online, I revisit a subject touched upon earlier – researching it! Now watch, I’ll go home and watch that YouTube video and think some education about socializing online is needed. But really, were we taught how to socialize face to face? Not really. Our parents made sure we had a social network available to us and we continue to keep routes to that network open, but no one is really teaching anyone about it. The Romans simply started it in the public baths. And those after simply evolved it (thank goodness!).

I realize this blog has been everywhere almost since the water cooler. My point in the end is that new forms of media are positives to how we communicate with one another. Quite personally, I am somewhat glad to be able to log on and discuss a TV show online instead of at work. At work, you always have that chance that the co-workers you are talking with will bring up something else… something you didn’t exactly want to hear about. When you are online in a discussion board or maybe even in a chat, if you don’t like something said or the topic, you leave! No offense to anyone.

A Positive Spin

When I first considered what to look deeper at this semester choosing to look at new media effecting socializing, I have to admit that I was more of a proponent of it, thinking new media would be more detrimental to our social being. Last week we touched on cyber bulling. Now certainly this would be evidence to fuel my argument on the negative side. While it certainly is a huge issue along with all that surrounds it, I saw a positive light out of it. We familiarized ourselves with the story of Megan Meier and how she met and made a good friend online. While this turned out in the worst possible way it could in that the “friend” was a hoax, it made me see how social networking online can be very positive for many pre-teens and teens to develop friends. Megan had trouble it seemed making friends in school and in her neighborhood. Like many teens, she faced all kinds of pressures, one mostly of not fitting. However, online she did. She met a boy and likely strengthened her socialization skills in conversing with him and getting to know him along with respecting herself more. I think it is important to put the bad outcome of this aside and look as to how socializing online can be a huge plus for all of us today. As this blog listed on the New York Times under Health shows , it's safer than we think and actually, quite beneficial for acquiring social skills.

I know I personally was a bit shier in high school than perhaps most. And I won’t deny it. I am very anti-social today. Ask my husband. I am not crazy about going out or being around crowds and prefer to sticking to a close circle of friends that I’ll actually go out with to dinner or a movie. However, I love being online and chatting with friends and emailing. And I question if I would have had that outlet growing up, how different would I be? Would my shyness have been minimal? Questions I’ll never be able to answer. I know today though with the world of chat and email and being online, I am a lot more outspoken than I would have ever dreamed of being in high school.

This seemed to be the same for Megan. She was her true self online, confident, respected, fun-loving and outgoing. I think if we would have viewed Megan in a face to face social environment, she would have been quite different. I know I am. And I think a lot of people are. I took an online course last spring and almost instantly you could tell a difference. A majority of the students I felt spoke their mind and were quite active in participating on the discussion boards. We more easily left comments for one another. The comments were still respectful and everyone was kind to one another, but when you read some of the posts, you could easily sense that had this been in an actual face to face class setting, a lot would have went as not being said.

I think we can even see this in our online classes for this class through online chat. Ours have gotten a bit out of hand at times, and when you think of that, you know those things would never be said in class. Even so, the discussion moves a lot quicker and more input is given from all members of the class when we are in the chat setting.

In these two examples, I think it is safe to say that individuals, may it be a teen or college student or professional, communicate easier online. We can speak out and express ourselves in a way I doubt any of us ever thought possible. We are more comfortable in our skins and confident in our thoughts. We respect ourselves more as well as those around us in the online world (for the most part). Check out this video about the idea behind an online learning community. It really spoke to me about the importance of being able to socialize now online in addition to the “real” world.



Having the ability to communicate more online has opened up a whole new world, one especially beneficial to all us shy ones of society. So while I started this blog more set in how online communication would be bad for us in learning to socialize and nurture our social skills, I can now say I’ll argue against that. I’ve been a supporter of it for years and simply never realized it or how it was helping my own quest in being more social. In closing, I found a video done by an individual who I think has flourished in the online world. It is a bit long, but I think his message really wraps this up in how it is easier to socialize online.

A Right to Some Privacy, Please

Children of today need to learn how to explore and use the web. With parents monitoring every step children try to take online, they will not learn those skills. I understand the need to protect children, but we cannot completely take away their right to privacy. Parents and children will trust each other more if there are means to openly communicating. Children will learn how to be responsible online and learn how to socialize online, two attributes that will prove to be very important in the digital age.

Growing up, I am sure we all heard a similar phrase from our parents when they said no to something we wanted or did something we didn’t think was fair – “Wait until you have your own kids someday.” Well, I don’t plan on ever having children other than the four legged furry kind; however, being older now, I think I do appreciate some of the decisions they did make. I feel I also look at life now more with a parental eye.

However, upon reading the last chapter of Pavlik in which online monitoring software was discussed, I have to say I was disgusted. I certainly agree that there should be restrictions for children exploring the web but this completely invades their privacy. I know what you are thinking. How does this fit with it affecting how we socialize? Well, I feel that a constant monitoring of a child’s browsing online is harmful to him/her in learning the social skill of decision making. Parents simply cannot hold a child’s hand the entire time he/she is growing up. Think of the disaster that is bound to happen when that child ventures off to college or into life… alone… without any monitoring software.

I wasn’t sure if maybe my want to not be a parent did influence my support for some privacy for kids, but then I came across a show that had aired on Lifetime. Just a quick read of the synopsis showed me that I am correct in my thinking that allowing freedom online is good and that children are learning important social skills. You can read the synopsis here or watch a quick video on the importance of online socializing for children.

As I mentioned with television and parents making use of the V-chip, a similar scenario approaches us in this case. Parents by all means should control which sites a child visits online as well as what the child lists online on a site such as MySpace. I feel there are good options available for this type of control, such as parents being able to restrict sites as well as parents approving what a child may post for personal information on a page displayed publicly. To me, this will teach a child trust. The parents trust in the child in him or her not visiting sites a parent doesn’t approve of or posting information a parent has stated is not appropriate. The child will also trust the parents and feel the parents are protecting him, yet giving him the opportunity to prove he is responsible. I stumbled across this article posted online by CBS. It spoke on the tips and myths of keeping children safe online. My favorite tidbit from it was a paragraph close to the end that was certainly targeting monitoring software or programs:

Which all leads to the fact that - regardless of what technology parents try to employ, the best filter is the one that runs in the young person’s brain - not on a computer.

For me, having some report sent to the parent or the parent being able to log on and “watch” what the child is doing online will tear the child down and not allow him/her to learn the skills needed to make decisions and well as whom to trust. I also feel it would be detrimental to the child as he/she will know the actions are being monitored. In being monitored, the child will not grow and learn how to socialize for themselves online. Every child will constantly be thinking, “well mom or dad are watching this or reading this, so I am not going to check it out or read it or write it,” even if it may not cause any alarm. Like the story above mentioned, children have brains. Let them use ‘um.
This is especially important for teens. Teens have a right to some privacy. Teens are by nature private individuals. Some software to monitor every action isn’t going to remedy this and will only make it worse. And believe me, while my parents were not overprotective (the Internet didn’t really exist in my teen years), being sheltered by growing up in the middle of nowhere as a child was enough “monitoring” for me. I didn’t turn out all that bad (at least I don’t think), but I probably tested the waters a little too much after starting college. Yeah, you know what I mean…

Editorial Note: A few days after writing this blog, a segment aired on WDAY in Fargo (channel six). After viewing it, I wanted to call the parent and say “Yes!” a parent who is participating with their children online instead of monitoring it on the spy level. The mom had joined Facebook and her children were very open to this as well as having her check in on their profiles from time to time. Her kids to some extent even thought it was pretty cool that Mom was on Facebook! I am not sure how long the video will be online, but click here to check it out!

Pollute Me TV

I am going to start by making a bold statement: TV can pollute our minds. It can control our lives. In general, it is quite evil. Think back to the last time a crisis happened in our nation. It was on the television, hour after hour after hour, which turned into days. Yes, we do have the right to be informed, and yes, I guess we can turn off the TV, but one can’t help it. It pulls you in. You have to keep watching it. I am sure we have all been there at least once in our lives.

I was almost pulled into it earlier this week with the huge drop of 777 points of the stock market. Having had a mom in the financial industry growing up, I started my 401k at the age of 20. At this point in my life, I have that vested at 100% into the stock market. Monday was not a good day for me. Luckily, I am at least 30 years from retirement. Once I realized that, my television got turned off. I can’t help but think of those though that lost huge amounts of money and sat and continuously watched the news reports on it. Didn’t I mention television can be evil?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my television, perhaps even more than the next person. When you have lived in North Dakota all your life, my first 18 years practically in the middle of nowhere (largest city, Aberdeen, SD – located 88 miles from where I grew up), television becomes a really good friend. And even in my return to college life, the TV is still one of my best friends, providing me the background noise I just seem to need to study and then sleep. So really, I think I am pretty neutral, if not even a bit more on the side of TV.

Speaking with my friend Jani the other morning, she stated how she set her aging father in front of the TV set as she ventured off to work. She promised she’d be back on her lunch break to check on him. Due to unforeseen circumstances within the last week, Jani is now in charge of her 80+ year old father until she is able to locate another nursing home that will accept him. As she described this to me, she said she felt like a parent, plopping her child in front of the television set to occupy him so she could get something done, letting him tune in to whatever TV land had to promote for the day.

Ironically, a few hours later, I sat down to read Pavlik. And he was throwing out percentages about television, one in particular of how many Americans use TV as their #1 means of obtaining the news. In both the conversation and Pavlik’s rant on ratings, I couldn’t help but think yes, we certainly are taking in the news on TV, but how much other content are we taking in as well, may it be through subliminal messages, advertising or concepts that we interpret in our own way?

Jani’s father is a grown man. Yet, she was concerned about what he was going to watch on television all day and what kind of ideas he would have and stories he would tell her when she got home. One day she recalled something he had seen that made him scared to be in a nursing home! “You are just going to drop me off there and never come see me again. I know. I saw it on TV!” is the statement he made to her. If an elderly man is deriving this out something he watched, what about the shows our children are seeing, or should I say the ideas our children get from these shows? Parental controls aren’t likely used in many homes in America, though I am a huge proponent of parents being more in tune with what their kids are watching. It cannot be helped sometimes, and there may even be a show that seems very appropriate, yet ideas can be formed from it that simply aren’t. Or a commercial during the show as sometimes those too aren’t exactly “kid-friendly.” Jani has yet to figure out just what it was her dad watched that one day. As she headed out the door that morning, she had no choice in what to do with him other than handing him the television remote. I am sure she spent her day hoping the same show wouldn’t be on again that day.

Where's the Loot?

Downloading music illegally, as it has become to be known, perhaps has stolen a little from the music industry. However, how much have other avenues stolen, such as the ability to stream music consistently online or commercial free satellite radio that allows you to have favorite channels that play nothing but your favorite music? The music industry and the critics of individuals being able to download music online without paying, need to take a step back and not only target those they have marked as looters. Society is changing along with the media that is changing around it. Instead of fighting it, it should be embraced and ways need to be found to use it to an advantage.

Before reading a few chapters by Lawrence Lessig, I think I leaned more toward the extremist side of the fence in saying society is seething with pirates of the music industry. But then Lessig explained this extremist side in a perspective that started to make me think more about how drastic it is to call one who downloads music free online a pirate. As Lessig provided strong examples from our history of how piracy has been the way of the world, I think now those who call us pirates (yes, I am including myself) in such a drastic meaning of the word, are the real pirates.

I am sure there has been much written on this, perhaps by Lessig himself, and certainly online. But I have some thoughts of my own on all of this. In particular, note above that I stated the music industry. I think, for the majority, this includes only those who feel they will lose some of the great fortune they have already made. I am by no means speaking for musicians, but I do have a love of music as well as other arts, especially writing. Personally, as a writer wanting to break into the publishing world, I’d be OK posting a book or poem or a few samplings of my writings online for free to grab interest. What better publicity is there? I think an artist that isn’t well known yet certainly wouldn’t mind a few songs out there that would be free to their listeners and soon to be fans.

My prime example of this – while I will not state I “stole” anything and yes, the band is more well known – a few months ago I heard a song on Q98 by Avenged Sevenfold, I asked my husband, the music guru in the house, if he had any CDs by them. While he did not, his network of friends provided the latest Avenged Sevenfold CD. It went straight onto my Zune, and I spent the next few days listening to it at work, it growing on me like crazy. A few weeks later, I asked dear husband to check if they were on tour. Something came up that distracted us from checking, but a few weeks later, Q98 announced that if you were part of their Inner Circle, you could get the presale code to order Avenged Sevenfold tickets for November 9 at none other than the FargoDome. My tickets arrived in the mail today. Do you really think Avenged Sevenfold cares that I didn’t go buy their CD, especially since I am likely to go do so now and check out their other ones to possibly buy those too?

And no, I don’t think there should be this free for all online as that isn’t fair to the artists. I am an artist. I know what it is like to starve as you possibly make it into the industry. Instead of being so concerned with who is stealing, the attention needs to be turned to a solution to make these individuals not want to do so. Personally, I think the solution is an easy one. Musicians need to turn people on to their music. May it be (god forbid!) a free download or two, well, put it out there. I don’t care if you are Metallica or TxRx (click to sample). People love anything for free. How do I know? Well, back to Q98, for 24 whole hours, you could download a song from Nickelback’s upcoming album free. Seems someone is working on their marketing team using creative resources and what society wants to target sales. Looters (and society) unite!

The "New" Facebook

While we read the article Brave New World of Digital Intimacy by Clive Thompson a few weeks ago for our first online class, I have repeatedly been thinking back to it almost every day I sign into Facebook. I think most of us are aware of the “New” Facebook and for me personally, I’ve noted a lot of negative comments about it, typically that people hate it. In looking to reasons people leave for this hate, I really could only come up with one concrete reason, a report of an individual having trouble using Facebook now due to the Digital Divide. Well, there actually are two reasons, that one, and how us creatures of habit simply fight change. Will those petitioning about how bad Facebook is win out in the end?

Every time I see someone post that for an update or on a wall or some where on Facebook, I think to all the controversy Thompson noted in the article that Facebook faced when they started the News Feed. Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook, was directly quoted in saying that Facebook does indeed try to push the envelope. Certainly, they are pushing it again as they have unveiled the “New” and “Only” Facebook (while I have not bothered to spend the time to confirm this, I have noted that you can go back to the “Old” Facebook) within the last week.

Personally, I guess I don’t care either way and honestly, I am not so sure what people are so upset about. Trying to make sense of it, I logged on to my own account and searched “hate new facebook.” There are six groups so far that you can join in the mission to hate it… I clicked to view the one with over 1,000,000 members to read the comments. There are 20 reasons listed as to why it should be hated. I liked how, before the list began, there was what appears to be a disclaimer that states “First of all, it's NOT because we don't want change.. it's because THE CHANGE IS BAD). Obviously these people aren’t designers and to me, that statement flat out says, we just hate adjusting to change. If the reasons they list would have confirmed the reasons for Facebook being so bad, surely they wouldn’t have had to make sure we know they don’t dislike change….

But really, I am trying to stay on the fence here. Read the reasons for yourself. Feel free to comment on why you’re on one side or the other or what you think of this “list.” For me, it boiled down to not wanting to accept change. Then I got to reason number 17 – finally someone made a good point that is worth Facebook taking the time to look into:

17- "It does not support old windows 98 systems, even those with Opera browsers. If you've got an internet explorer browser, then you're just plain out of luck!
Guess what... there's still plenty of us out there who are not that rich, own an old computer and like it just fine. We're basically being kicked out of Facebook which is a shame. I too thought Facebook was different!? I'm willing to bet that the change has a whole lot more to do with accomodating advertisers and how to get even more of them on here!" Diane Courchesne (Halifax, NS)

I feel fortunate to be able to keep up with most of the latest technology online. Unfortunately, I know many are not. I feel for many more years we are going to see that, especially with the state of the economy and people moving towards a more conservative nature in their spending habits. We have touched on this already in our readings for the course, too. The “Digital Divide” is huge and likely always be a factor.

As we all know at this point from history is that Facebook did get its followers to love the News Feed, leading to a social phenomenon of ambient awareness. People love knowing what their friends are doing and being able to quickly check in on Facebook has allowed this. While I do not foresee Facebook’s upgrade causing any big turn in society or a way of socializing, I think it will be an interesting few months ahead to see if these haters of Facebook have enough influence to change the minds of the gurus of Facebook. Will they completely change the changes they have done? Or will we slowly, we creatures of habit, give in and accept change? I’m willing to bet Facebook will iron out the technological glitches, such as those plaguing Diane in NS, and we’ll all go on being just fine with the “New” Facebook.

Admission

In addition to wondering if I am strange, the situation I encountered also made me think about the forms of digital media I wasn’t thinking about. And social influences I hadn’t considered either. Thankfully in our class on Monday, Dr. Platt never got to me when she asked the question about online video viewership. While I wouldn’t say I am embarrassed, I will admit that I felt out of place. Why? Well, I don’t watch online videos. The YouTube craze hasn’t gotten me (maybe with Sarah in the class it will?) and for the most part, I would rather read than wait for a video to download so I can watch it. Yes, I know, with broadband they do download relatively quickly and maybe I am still sour on it from when we had wireless, but I would easily choose to scan an article quickly to see if it’s worth reading than to consider a video. So there, my secret it out. Other than watching movies on demand from Netflix (which I stream through my TV and don’t really consider an online video), I don’t do YouTube or anything alike.

Thinking about it more, how many others are out there like me? Is it because of my age (take my word for it, I’m older than you think) or because I didn’t grow up exactly on the Web? It certainly isn’t because I am not technically savvy. Perhaps I thought I should blame it on work. At my job, almost everything is Websensed. Sometimes I feel my computer is going to tattle on me if I choose to go to the ladies room at the wrong time. Still, I get my news fix at work as best as I can. As I thought more though, I have free range at home and still do not choose videos. I simply do not have any interest.

I believe the true reason is those I am in contact on a daily basis with do not have any interest either. I am sure most of my friends have watched online videos unlike me; however, the topic never comes up in a discussion. It is not relevant at all in our social realm. Unless news is constrained to that medium someday, I don’t foresee it ever being part of our realm either. Of course, I despised Facebook too, but signed up for a profile before starting the end of my college years.

Ah, huh! The transition to the digital world does have a big impact on how we socialize. As I’ve been writing this post, I am realizing more and more how peer pressure or the need or desire to fit in or make sure you are in the loop leads one to join in, such as me making sure I didn’t look like a complete fool (or more of one) among my college peers and signed up for Facebook. I am not saying that everyone watches videos because everyone else is. They are watching the videos as it is part of what their friends are doing and talking about. They want to be part of that and there is probably a little bit of not wanting to look too out of place with the “in crowd.”

Interestingly enough, I think the “in crowd” has always guided us. The research out there on this seems to say the same thing. Simply search the term “being popular” on Google Scholar for all kinds of evidence. There are the few and far between who want nothing to do with it, but we can all admit that at least once in our lives, we’ve done something because someone else is doing it. And I am sure media in all forms knows that as well. So in the end, we’re all fed what everyone else thinks is the in thing at that particular moment. I can’t help thinking how much peer pressure has influenced where the Web is today along with the content it holds.

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In searching for a nice example to show you all of my daily frustration with Websense, I came across a great blog on it. Some of you may even be familiar with this guy's site. I wanted to note this separately though as it does contain offensive material. Please note before proceeding. Click here to proceed.

Wide Open

To dive into my topic, I first wanted to see what research has been done on the possible effects of new media and how it effects us socially. At first, I thought perhaps I wasn't searching the right terms or the terms I was using were too broad. I came across lots of information, just nothing concrete on the impact new media has had on socialization. So I turned to my favorite research tool, EBSCO. And it led me perhaps to a type of article I didn't want to find in this quest...

The article certainly was appropriately titled, The Wired Family: Living Digitally in the Postinformation Age. It grabbed my attention, a silent "Finally!" going through my head. I was at work though and since I should have been working, I put it in my EBSCO folder to read later. A few days after that, I was finally able to return to it and was excited to get some ideas for my blog post.

The opening story was a humorous Jetson like portrayal of a family living in the digital age. For me, it was like an ominous peek into the future, the very very near future. I couldn't help thinking that the story and characters could quite easily be a family of tomorrow waking up to a hot breakfast that had been programmed to cook the evening before. And I bet you'd really like a link to it right now, huh? Yep, I remembered now why it was Google Scholar where I hoped to find material - much easier to link to for everyone. Instead, only you, my fellow NDSU mates can peruse the little opener if you'd like. Simply click here and then log in to the NDSU library system.

Moving on from the cute story, I revisit how my happiness went to dismay. Why? Well, turns out the subject I decided upon and was excited to delve into is one that needs a lot of research. There is little to none on the effects of new media on our social being. However, there is a huge need for it. So I am trying to see this good in how this is an intriguing field to study.

Why do I feel so strongly about the need for research? In the article, Peggy Meszaros notes that children age 2-18 spend an average of 38 hours per week watching television, playing video games, surfing the Web, or using some other form of media (Meszaros 384). Now tell me this doesn't have some sort of impact on a child's social skill set!?! Good or bad!

Sadly, there was a call out for research on this even before the boom of the World Wide Web. In 1985 Rowan Wakefield forecasted the impact of computers on family life and the need for investigation:

"Continuing family and societal changes suggest an urgent need for much greater understanding of the impact of home computer use on families."

No one answered that call. I was only left to wonder why someone hasn't and what a huge field this is to research. While I may not have any case studies in the end, I look forward to pulling together the little research there is. Who knows, maybe grad school someday will get me a few case studies.

Reference:

Meszaros, P. (2004, December). The Wired Family: Living Digitally in the Postinformation Age. American Behavioral Scientist, 48(4), 377-390. Retrieved September 1, 2008, doi:10.1177/0002764204270276

What's This All About?

I have to admit that right off, I was concerned with what I could come up with for a topic to blog about for this class all semester. I drew a complete blank and doubted myself. Thinking back to my classes last year though, I remembered how curious I was about how we are communicating now - Facebook, texting, emailing, blogging, the list goes on - will effect our social skills in life. I recall wondering this in two classes, so certainly, it coming to mind for the third time, I had to look into it more.

For now, I don't think I have one particular technology in mind to target. I want to keep it broad, however, I feel I will be concentrating more on how we communicate online. Much of the information I have found in an initial search is how the way we network online should be added to connecting face to face (F2F). It will enhance relationships if used in addition to F2F contact (Netting Scholars: Online and Offline). Honestly though, that made me think, well duh! As I kept digging, I realized the world is on the right track for the most part. Physcial space and Cyberspace need to be interrelated (Valerie Goby, PhD).

I wasn't satisfied though - and I know because of that this could be controversial. Perhaps it's because I look at a lot of things in life through jaded eyes, but will we always realize this importance of connecting F2F and in the cyber world? Once I finally searched the right terms online, the barrage of articles on this overwhelmed me. Finally, the bad I was seeking. The first article I decided to take a glance at confirmed that there is going to be some ugliness in this. The study, The Impact of Home Computer Use on Children's Activities and Development opened with a quote. For me, it confirmed my blog will be good, bad and ugly, just what I was shooting for all along:

“I really want to move to Antarctica—I’d want my cat and Internet access and I’d be happy.”
—16-year-old HomeNet participant (1995)

Personally, I myself would be content in Antarctica, however, I'd take both of my two cats, my hubby and Internet access. But I have learned though through life and interacting with people, that socializing in person is necessary. What about those who don't have that life experience and are growing up connected to many by a screen name only? What impact will that have on how our social skill sets are learned?

On the other end of the spectrum, these new ways to communicate could be an outing many people need. One of my classes last spring was completely online. While at first I was unsure as to how I was doing in the class, I quickly became at ease in the class and not concerned about expressing myself. No one knew who I was. They only knew me online and would likely never meet me on the street. For me, I could be more of myself, not consumed in the social anxiety I sometimes fight.

So, in these weeks of blogging, I want to look at all the sides of how faceless ways to meet, talk, learn and share impact how we socialize. I want to try to remain open to both the good and the bad in hopes that somehow the middle ground prevails. I know I need to interact with others both in person and online, but will that be the norm in the years to come? Or will we live in bomb shelters with our fingers furiously typing to make sure we're in the world without being in it?